iCanDoAchemy
by TheCrazyAlchemist
Summary: This little icarly bit we are showing tonight was completely messed up due to three alchemists who got mixed up in a battle and ended up on earth. How did they get there? IDK! But Ed goes to school, Roy gets a job, and Al works with spencer!
1. Chapter 1

**HEY! This was supposed to be my first story since I started writing this before my actual first story called "Full Metal Alchemist 'Dare Party!'" But, anyways, I hope you enjoy it and PLEASE REVIEW! Give me ideas, comments, sentence enhancers, and whatever the hell floats your boat! I'll be whenever I feel like it so DON'T BE LATE! Thanks for reading!**

**Chapter ONE**

It was a late Wednesday afternoon, after Carly Shay, Sam Puckett, and Freddy Benson, spent a long, exhausting day at their middle school in Seattle, Washington. Sam, the tall girl with curly blonde hair and in need of anger management, came in to Cary's apartment, which was hosting Freddy, the brunette 'nerd' of Shays' gang, Carly, the average brunette, long haired, brains of the group, and Spencer, Cary's older brother who was supposed to be mature, but failed to do so and became their 'weirdo' artist.

"Hey, Carls," She cheerfully greeted, "Hello, Nub-face" she blandly greeted to Freddy as he sat at Cary's kitchen counter looking on the Computer.

"Hey, Sam," Carly replied, "Are you ready to go review over tonight's web show?"

"Sure, but can I grab a meatball or two outta the fridge?" ***A/N: By one meatball or two, she means the whole supply that is held inside of the refrigerator.**

"No" Carly answered bluntly

"Well, it's almost time to start" Freddy said, ignoring Sam's previous insult.

So, Carly and the gang headed up the stairs to where their web show studio was held on the third floor. They prepared themselves for the show, with Freddy's usual introduction to the beginning of the show.

"Okay, we begin in 5-4-3-2—"He started the camera and their show began

"She's Carly!" Sam excitedly said as she pointed to Carly.

"She's Sam!" Carly exclaimed pointing to Sam.

"And this is iCarly!" they said both together.

"Now, to start out our show we are going to show you our fa-"Carly brusquely stopped as a bright light entered through the back of the studio.

There was a loud crash, followed by what sounded like a bunch of falling tin cans, and then a rather loud conversation started pervading throughout the room. It sounded like three voices bickering.

"-Sure you went to the right place?" asked a voice that sounded like it was coming from a man.

"Yeah, I'm sure, colonial _bastard!" _ Yelled a somewhat fifteen or sixteen year old raspy voice.

"Would you call me a _bastard _anymore if I burned that little antenna of yours off?" Said the grown voice.

"Well, I'll just use alchemy to turn that 'handsome' face of yours into a hideous THING!" Said the raspy voice.

"Aah, I'm soo scared, maybe I should get a microscope to see this hideous threat I'm hearing!"

"**Who're you calling a bean sized shrimp that's so small its brain is the size of a microscopic flea?"**

"Geez, Nii-san, he didn't say that much" retorted a very metallically muffled voice worriedly.

"I know, BUT HE WAS THINKING IT! "exclaimed the raspy voice until the muffled voice interrupted.

"No"

"Okay…" the raspy voice said, and then almost inaudibly said "we'll finish this later."

"First, let's figure out where we are." Interrupted the older voice.

A short, blonde boy stepped out from behind the curtains. He had a small lock of hair sticking straight up, a braid, and a large red over coat with a black symbol the back that looked that similar to a snake intertwining with a cross and a small crown with wings hovering above it. He turned around, and his golden eyes were as large as they appeared to could have gotten to see the trio standing across the room, their eyes were just as wide as the being standing before them.

"Al…" the blonde said.

"Yeah?" Answered the muffled voice, but then a large suit of armor stepped out beside the blonde, who was pointed straight towards Carly and the others.

"Who are they, Nii-san?" asked the suit of armor he called 'Al'.

"I have no idea-"

"That's it!" Exclaimed the older voice "If we are outside of Shambala again, I'm going to burn yo-"He had stopped after walking out next to the others.

The last one had short, black hair, a cold look in his eye, and was wearing what looked like a blue and gold military uniform from another country. To Carly, he was the one, jet-black haired-bad boy she had been longing for, ah, just the thought of his lips on hers made her feel slightly dizzy.

"Uhm, do any of you freaks happen to have any fried chicken on you?" Sam asked.

"Sam!" Carly exclaimed, thinking she was being rude to the three misfits standing before them.

"What?" She asked ignorantly.

"You're being rude to these fr- I mean fine gentlemen!" She said, not surprised at Sam's ignorance.

"I still don't understand how you let Envy get us into this mess;" The older, black-haired man said, ignoring Sam's question, "I thought you were a genius!"

"Well, this wouldn't have happened if you were even the tiniest suspicious about Lt. Ross." Yelled the blonde.

"Well, now that you point it out, didn't Ross have a mole underneath her _left_ eye when we last met in the ruins between Xing and Amestris?"

"That's what I was trying to tell you_ before_ we got to the gate, you dumbass!"

"No need for name calling, now, or I'll light you on fire." Said the black-haired man, wearing a teasing smile.

While the other two bickered, the suit of armor called 'Al' walked over to the confused, yet intimidated trio.

"Uh, hello," Al Introduced, "my name is Alphonse, but you can call me Al if you want. I'm sorry about the way my older brother is acting."

"Let me guess," Carly said, "The tall one is your older brother, am I right?"

"Oh, no, no, he's just Colonial Mustang, the other one's my older brother."

"That's your older brother, "Sam chuckled, "man, he's too short to be your _BIG_ brother. Ha-ha!"

"Please don't say that, he-" the blonde abruptly interrupted the tin can.

"What do you mean _SHORT_?" He yelled.

"What?" Sam asked.

"I am NOT some flea-sized midget who is too short for even a microscope to see!" The blonde ranted.

"Geez, talk about temperamental."

"Freddy," Carly whispered.

"Yeah?" he replied.

"We're still live, aren't we."

"Yeahuh."

"Uh-oh, umm," she turned to the camera, "well, that's all for tonight, until next time!"

"And tune in next time to icarly!" Sam spoke from behind Carly.

"Bye!" They simultaneously called and Freddy turned off the camera.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

**After the Encounter**

"So, you guys have no idea where you came from?" Carly asked, shortly after they and the trio went downstairs to her living room.

The blonde shook his head.

"All we know is that we were in one place, and then we got sucked into another." Alphonse replied.

"What I don't understand is why The Gate didn't put a toll on us for going through." The blonde said, thinking out loud.

"What?" Sam asked.

"It's nothing; he's just a little crazy." Roy teased.

"I'm NOT crazy!" The blonde yelled.

"Uh, what's your name?" Carly asked.

"I'm Roy," he said, "Roy Mustang."

"And I'm Alphonse." The tin can explained.

"And who's the kid over there?" Sam pointed over to the one with the red overcoat.

"I'm one known as Edward Heidrick." He replied, using the name he'd used the previous time on Earth.

"So, you and the man in armor are brothers?" Carly asked.

Edward nodded.

"Hey Carly!" a voice called from another room, "Do you know where I put the jar of pickles?"

"Why do you need pickles?" She called back.

"Socko said that if I put pickles on my- Whoa!" Spencer, Carly's older brother, walked into the room and was surprised to see the odd trio in the room.

"Who are they?" Spencer asked, his hands lifted in defense.

"I really don't know." Carly answered.

Spencer was especially staring at Alphonse, and all attention went to the suit of armor.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Al apologized, "this armor is a big distraction, I wish I could take it off,"

"He sounds like a little kid." Spencer loudly whispered to Carly.

"Yeah, how old are you, Alphonse?" Carly asked.

"Fourteen, it's just that this suit is really big." He replied.

The whole room went silent, which was soon broken by Sam's voice.

"Why don't you take the suit off?"

"Yeah, it must be pretty stuffy in there, Al." Edward smiled.

"Okay brother!" He replied, and the head of the suit rose and a head appeared.

He had long, brown hair, with golden-brown eyes to match, with a long red overcoat that was identical to Ed's.

"Well now we understand why you're the little brother." Sam said.

It was true. Alphonse happened to be shorter by Edward by a few centimeters.

"WHAT!" Edward screamed, standing next to Al and waving his hand from the top of his head to his younger brother's.

"Wow brother, it's actually true… you've gotten taller!"

A flush of happiness and surprise filled his face and then he turned to Roy.

"Haha, now that I'm taller, there's no way you can tease me now!" Edward teased.

"Oh really," Roy questioned, "then why am I still towering over your ridiculously small being?"

Ed's face turned red.

"*Bleep* bleep* you *bleepbleepbleep* *bleeeeep*!"

"Brother!" Alphonse yelled, holding back the angry midget with a shining blade spurting from his right arm.

"I'M GONNA KILL THAT PIRATE! LET ME GO! I CAN FINISH HIM RIGHT HERE AND NOW!" Edward screamed, flailing the blade inches from Roy's face.

"Now, now, Fullmetal, no need to ruin a beautiful face in front of a bunch of children." Roy smirked.

"You've done it now!" Edward yelled, now really struggling to escape Alphonse's grasp.

"Where'd the blade come from?" Carly asked in mortified surprise.

"We'll explain later ~ugh~ we promise," Alphonse forced out while holding back his brother, "just as long as you can help me with him!"

"What should we do?" Freddy asked.

"Maybe we could tie him up." Carly said.

"Screw this." Sam interrupted and walked up next to the flailing midget and hit him in the back of the head.

"SAM!" Freddy and Carly simultaneously yelled.

"Don't worry, he's still conscious." She looked down at the now angrier boy.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!" He yelled.

Sam grabbed the blonde and threw him into the suit of armor that Alphonse previously exited.

"Hey… What're you doing…" Sam grabbed his jacket. "Oh HELL no! Let go of me! You better no-aaauugghh!"

Everyone, including Alphonse, laughed at Edward's torment as she threw him inside.

"Very funny!" Edward emphasized with sarcasm.

He was just about to open the head of the armor when Alphonse clapped his hands together and placed them onto the suit. A bright flash of light filled the room and every crack and opening of the suit closed up with more metal.

Everyone except Roy was completely wide-eyed and speechless.

"I'm sorry," Al apologized, "brother is always like this when he's insulted."

"I do not!" He called from inside the metal body.

"You do know you can get out, right?" Al asked.

"Yeah, but I'm not going to risk being killed for killing the Fuhrer." He retorted.

"You may be short tempered, Fullmetal, but you're pretty smart."

"Ha! The bastard actually commented me!" Edward yelled, but then mumbled pained curses when he hit his head from his excitement.

"I'll have to take care of THIS thing later." Roy taunted, looking down at the armor.

"I can still get out!" Edward yelled.

"But you don't want to get in trouble for killing me do you?" Roy retorted.

"Yeah, but it's not like we're going to go back."

"What if you do happen to go back, and they figure out that you killed off the prime ruler of Amestris."

"I really, really hate you now."

"Why don't you tell that to my face when you decide to get out." He smirked.

"Shut up; just get us out of here."

"Fine," Roy said while lifting up one side of the armor, "Alphonse, come help me carry him out of here."

"Okay!" He called and ran over to assist.

"Wait!" Carly interrupted the conversation that the Shay gang was apparently left out of.

"Huh?" The other trio responded.

"You've still gotta explain to us about your little magic-sparky-thingy." Spencer cut in.

"And where you came from." Freddy said.

"Yeah, we want answers…please?" Carly insisted.

"Um…" Alphonse tried to think of a good excuse for all of their questions.

"We'll explain tomorrow." Edward said from inside his insulator.

Everyone looked in his direction, well, whoever wasn't already looking, anyways.

"You see, we still are trying to absorb what happened to us back there, so it might be best if we get rest before anything unfolds."

Alphonse quickly caught the gist of what Ed was attempting to do, and so he joined.

"But I think it would be better for all of us if we knew the time and place that we are currently in."

"It's July 2010, and you're in Seattle, Washington of America." Carly generously said.

"America… I've heard of that country, but I've never actually been." Edward thoughtfully spoke aloud.

"Well, you're in it, short-stuff, so you'd better get rid of that accent…FAST." Sam rudely commented.

***Since Edward lived in Germany for two years, of course he had an accent. And if you're confuzzled about Ed and Al being back in Amestris after they closed the gate to Shamballa, do not worry, I have the perfect backstory for it, but will be explained in another story. Back to the chapter!^3^**

"I'm starting to hate you, now, too!" He yelled, then cursed in German when he hit his head once more in his little jail.

"Where are you guys going?" Carly asked.

"We're, uh, going downstairs to check out a room." Roy lied.

"I have an extra room that you can stay in."

"That sounds great, how about you, brother?" Al asked.

"Fine with me." A bright flash came from the armor and Edward fell from the bottom, making its carriers fall from the sudden change in weight.

"It's down that hallway next to my brother's room, the door will be closed."

"Let's go Al." Edward stormed off, still pissed at Roy.

"Hai!" His brother happily called and followed Edward.

Roy took a long while to get up but soon followed after the other two.

**Well, that's the end of Chapter TWOOOO! Huzzah! I seriously have no idea what I'm going to type up next, so its up to my special little reviewers, readers, and add-to-favoriters to send up some ideas. PLEASE PLEASE ! REVIEW! I find that as motivation, and It's very complicated to type a story without motives. Thanks for reading! And I will give credit to whomever has an idea that I use! ^3^**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

It had only been a few minutes since the brothers and the colonial entered their temporary room. It wasn't much of a sight; White walls, two beds, a small desk in the corner with paper and pens, and a door to a small closet in the back right hand corner. Of course, it had some awkward decoration as to the other rooms of the apartment.

"Brother," Alphonse asked, then carried on with his question with an unarguable 'yeah?', "what are we supposed to do?"

"What do you mean?" Ed asked with an obviously confused expression.

"I mean, what are we to do about the things we did tonight? Tell them the truth and let them spill our secret?"

"Nah, I've gotta' plan," He explained, "we'll just leave later tonight and hitch a ride somewhere."

"To where, exactly?" Roy questioned.

"I can't even answer that, just out of town."

It had been a long day for Carly. She had to rehearse after school, deal with Sam's rude outbursts, and now she had to take care of some unusual guests who just intruded the webshow without warning. _I wonder what they're up to right now, _she thought, _I'd better go check._

The door creaked slightly, causing her to wince as she opened the threshold. Loud snoring and heavy breathing exited the room. Ed and Al were in one of the beds, sleeping horizontally to the vertical shape of the bed, and Roy, the one snoring, was in a deep sleep, one arm raised, legs sprawled out with one lingering off the edge, and a long line of drool heading down to the pillow he was half lay on. She walked over to the sleeping slacker, whom had traces of a moustache upon his upper lip. _Nevermind what I said before, he's probably some womanizing weirdo who goes and drinks for a living. _Surprisingly, she was correct.

The door creaked slowly, followed by a slight click, assuring the official closing of the door. Edward, then, shot up and signaled the others to ready for their unexpected departure.

"Is everyone awake?" Edward asked, clumsily feeling around for the latch to the window seal.

Roy grunted in response, and Alphonse nodded in the dim light. Edward then nodded back and then pulled open the window to the outside.

"What are you doing, Alphonse?" Roy asked, seeing the movements of the younger brother.

"Oh, I'm making the beds, just to be nice." He replied

"But we don't-" Edward cut the colonial off.

"Just let him do it, if we don't, he'll end up complaining."

"Look who's talking, brother."

"Don't-" Edward half-screamed.

"Shhhhhh!" Roy interrupted, worried he would wake the others.

The boy nodded in response, and then jumped out the eight-story window, the others followed close behind.

They fell, the wind rushing past their bodies.

"I'd thought you planned this out!" Roy yelled above the wind.

"Since when do I plan?" Edward rudely screamed back.

"Uh, you guys?" Alphonse called.

"WHAT?"

"You might want to worry about the rock hard mass that's creeping up on us."

They all looked down.

"Well, you'd better have a plan for this, Fullmetal."

Edward smirked, and then clapped his hands and slammed them onto the building beside them. He malformed the side of the building into a large ramp that stretched to the bottom. The trio rolled involuntarily all the way down.

"Great plan, brother!" Al praised.

"Nah, I was just improvising." Ed smiled a teasing smile at the colonial, seeming to prove something not-so-obvious.

An hour later, the Amestrians walked to another place, never to be seen again by the Carly gang.

***DumDum DUMM! *dramatic music* **

**Yes, a third chapter is finished! **

**Good for you! *gives Emma a cookie.***

**Thank you, Edo-chan!**

**Anyways, I figured that I shouldn't end this story here, because I want to see Roy with a job (at Hooters) , and Ed go to school. I may have to leave Alphonse at going to school as well, mainly because I improvise in my stories, and I mislead people when it comes to stories. So, just to clear things up, Alphonse WILL NOT be working with spencer. Thanks for reading! Please review!**


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